I wrote this true tale from my life almost exactly a year ago, but I loved it so much that I wanted to share it again as a testimony of how incredibly connected our lives are, all of us humans all over the world.
This is the story of a girl who loved music. Who felt in her bones that
she was meant to be a guitarist, a classical guitarist, since she was
four years old. Who waited both patiently and impatiently until she was
eight to begin guitar lessons. Who was determined to pursue music in
college, go on to grad school, and hopefully dive into the world of
competitions, and maybe tour some day.
She gave up that dream.
Halfway through college, a book came into her life:
Hidden Art, by Edith Schaeffer. One
of her mentors (now a beloved best friend) suggested that she read it,
because it spoke about the beauty of expression and art that can be
found in ordinary life. One story stood out. In the chapter about music,
Schaeffer wrote of a woman named Jane.
"I have told in "L'Abri" how Jane came to a place of certainty, after
much prayer and struggle, that God was calling her out of opera, where
she was having a tremendously successful career, into the work of the
L'Abri fellowship. She was willing simply to cook, garden, scrub floors,
talk to people, and teach the Bible. There is a place for the conscious
sacrifice of the expression of a talent, asking God to show His will
for the use of our lives in any way He plans- rather than insisting that
it must be fulfilled in particular ways. It is a turning from or giving
up- with complete trust that God really is love, and all wise, and
would not waste the life of any one of His children... among those who
have met in L'Abri [are] people who have chosen to put aside ambitions,
and are simply enjoying musical expression without the desire for
'success'."
If you look at the picture below, you will see question marks inked
across this page. When the girl read it, her world exploded. How could
someone give up their musical dreams?! To mop floors? To SACRIFICE years
of study, hours of practice every day for months and months, the fine
tuning of a talent? WHY would you do that???
She and her friend discussed the possibilities at length several times.
There was obviously a deeper turmoil going on in this girl's heart and
mind. Recently the girl had begun teaching, a job she enjoyed very much,
but one that she intended to use just as financial support through
college until leaving for grad school. Maybe someday she'd pick teaching
back up again, but the world of music performance called!
At least, she thought it did. Now she wasn't so sure.
Reading about Jane in "Hidden Art" planted a tiny seed of change. Now,
instead of plunging ahead with her own plans, the girl began asking God
to show her what His plan for her was.
Long story short: by the time she reached her senior year, she knew
without a doubt that she was not meant to be a performer, but a teacher
for children instead, a teacher in the same classical music program she
had studied in when she was eight. It took months of prayer, listening
for the Spirit, seeing her path change, watching opportunities come and
go, realizing that she didn't really have the mindset it would take to
make it in the competitive realm of music, and most importantly,
discovering where her joy really lay.
Fast forward almost five years.
The girl was at a Christmas party, happily chatting with an elderly man,
the grandfather of one of her new students. During the conversation the
man mentioned that he used to live at L'Abri. And then went on to
describe how wonderful the music was at L'Abri, especially when a woman
named Jane was around. "Not the same Jane from the book by Edith
Schaeffer?" the girl gasped. Yes, the very same.
The Jane whose operatic debut was on stage in Vienna. The Jane who was
set to become a Wagnerian soprano. The Jane who spent some time at
L'Abri to search for answers and felt the Spirit gently whispering to
her that there might be another Path for her life, who finally found
that she felt most satisfied by serving others, singing with handicapped
children, and teaching at L'Abri. And more than just being satisfied:
she felt that she was doing exactly what she was meant to do, created to
do. She found joy. She found peace.
The girl blurted out her own story, how Jane had been a key to a new way
of listening to God instead of forcing her own way. The elderly man
nodded and smiled, then he reached into his pocket and pulled out his
cell phone. "It's late, but I know her. She'll still be up." He dialed a
number, listened to the ring, and spoke to the hello on the other end:
"Good evening, Jane, my old friend. There's a young woman here, a
classical guitarist and teacher for children, who would like to talk to
you."
Tears filling her eyes, the girl took the phone. In the midst of the
Christmas festivities going on around her, she was oblivious to all
except the quiet, gentle voice of the eighty year old woman halfway
across the country. Jane asked for her story. The girl managed to tell
her of a Path changed, of tough decisions, of the pages in a book that
inspired her to think differently, of a new life as a wife and mother
that would have been hard if not impossible as a performing musician, of
her love of teaching, of the incredible grace given in spite of so many
mistakes.
"God will never waste the life of one who lays it down for him," Jane
said, her ancient voice still deeply rich. "My dear, I am so glad that
our journeys have crossed here! What a blessing to know that God always
works in mysterious ways. We may not understand at the time what he has
in store, but he always has a plan for our future good."
Passing the phone back, the girl cried tears of wonder. Now, whenever
the question of "what if" arises, this miracle of a woman named Jane
speaking across the page and over the phone, a living testimony to the
incredible Providence of the Living God, echoes through her heart.
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for
good, for those who are called according to his purpose..."
Questions are Marked in the Pages of Our Lives
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