DPP, Day #3

Today I thought I'd be feeling way better from my cold. It was only a little better, actually. But on the bright side, I had tons of tea with lemon and honey, and raw garlic, and some awesome hummus bread things which looked like Christmas trees that my mom made as an experiment. I wish I'd thought to take a picture of those before I wolfed them down.

So my pictures sucked because evidently when I'm sick I can't take pictures with a steady hand. Or look at things correctly. But here's the picture of the day anyway.

Shamrock Lights
An evening at the guitar studio

Sheep Shaker of Salt
(say that ten times fast)

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DPP, Day #2

I promise that not all the pictures I take this month will be of my adorable daughter, but there will probably be quite a few of them. Because she's just too darn cute. Yes, I am a new mom, YES I am besotted with my five month old baby. 

I just used the word "besotted" without knowing what it means. But then I looked it up, and it turns out that my brain uses words correctly even when I don't consciously know the definition. Heh. Feeling loopy due to this cold I suddenly came down with in the middle of the night. Sore throat, stuffy nose, achy body... no first day of Advent celebration at church for me. So rather than mope about being sick I'm just trying to quietly rest. Like Harmony in this picture. The sleep sack was crocheted by the talented husband (guys can play with yarn too!) of my friend L., who is lending it to Harmony because her one-year old son is too large for it now. It is beautiful.

Go To Sleep Little Baby
Harmony taking her mid-morning nap

Cold Cures

That's all for today, folks. Time for some more vitamin C.

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December Photo Project, Day #1

I'm so excited to begin the December Photo Project with over three hundred other online folks! As the description on the website says, the purpose is to "challenge myself creatively" and share the moments with family and friends. I'm not terribly talented with a camera, and don't have the most visually artistic eye, so this will be an interesting project, for sure. Already I'm trying to notice things differently, such as approaching from various angles, finding colors, watching patterns and movement and light. This is a way for me to grow. I hope whoever reads my blog and sees the pictures will enjoy the tiny moments I capture throughout this month.

If you'd like to join, just click on the button to the right of this post and sign up!

Gourd Walk
With Chris and Harmony in the early morning

And here are the runners-up (runner-ups?) for photo of the day! 

Berry Bright

Feed Me

George Washington Carver

Holly Path

Can you tell that I like the color red? And berries? Yep.

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The Only Way I Have Been Able to Survive This Illness

Feeling so sick that I can't even take care of myself, let alone my daughter.

Thank the Lord for my family who cares for both of us with love.

Unable to go back to teaching when I'm supposed to in September, due to the same sickness that lingers much longer than it should.

Thank the Lord for Chris's job, supportive fellow teachers, and sympathetic students' families.

Missing out on church, friends, fellowship for a month... no energy for anything except recovery.

Thank the Lord for kind phone calls, meals dropped off, missing-you texts, and loving messages.

Can't venture outdoors for weeks.

Thank the Lord for sending gorgeous autumn weather just as I have enough strength to start taking slow walks in our neighborhood.

Little sleep. Waking up to feed a newborn. Lie awake in pain from illness.

Thank the Lord for our new bed, which heals my chronic back problems at least, and for Bible verses saved on my phone for middle of the night comfort.

Nausea (and worse) for two weeks due to four different kinds of antibiotics.

Thank the Lord for medicine that is, despite awful side effects, bringing healing.

Complaining. Inner grumbling that my plans aren't working out the way I want.

Thank the Lord that He is teaching me lessons in trust, patience, peace, and gratefulness, fixing my eyes on what is truly important.

May you be strengthened with all power, 
according to His glorious might,
for all endurance and patience with joy,
giving thanks to the Father,
who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.

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Harmony's Education

After posting an article about home-schooling on Facebook, I was asked how my children would be educated. Right now Harmony is only six weeks old, but we're already thinking about her future education. I haven't had a lot of time to write lately, what with being a new mother and all the happiness and challenges that entails, but here are some of my thoughts.

First, I believe that people of all ages are natural learners. They are created to be inquisitive, explorative, experimental, knowledge-seeking discoverers. Babies are born wanting to learn about their world, progressing from helpless infants to walking, talking toddlers, who become children eager to participate in the excitements that life offers. Harmony doesn't need to take classes to learn how to crawl... it will happen on its own. She will learn her first words by imitating the voices of those around her. We've already seen how much she observes her world. She is certainly eager to join it as soon as possible! 

Second, I believe that children are naturally curious. I've never seen a child who wasn't interested in SOMETHING, even if they'd never been to an institutional school. After only one semester of public school at age eight (it was my decision to enroll), I begged my mom to let me come home again. Thankfully, she fully supported my wish to home-school, and I never went to a formal school again until college. At that age, rather than being interested in academics, I loved music, geology, books, gardening with my mom, making crafts, cats, dogs, guitars, bird songs, making up stories, pretend games, and spending as much time as possible up in trees. I would often spending hours exploring these subjects by myself or with friends. I didn't see it as formal "learning", though; it was fun, play, and a beautiful childhood experience. Harmony will hopefully have the same opportunity as I did to discover her own interests and find out what talents she has. 

Third, I believe that everyone deserves to follow their own personal educational path. School supposedly is meant to give a student the skills they need to get a job and support themselves in life. But is that all education is? I don't have enough time to delve into this question. Let me just say that I believe a person's career may not always involve their talents, because unfortunately not everyone has their dream job; yet everyone has unique abilities that they can utilize, develop, and appreciate for personal development. I want to raise Harmony with the mindset that while a job will eventually be necessary, learning is a life-long affair that can and should be enjoyed. Formal education may end, but gaining wisdom and knowledge doesn't have to. 

What does this mean practically for our daughter's education?

Chris and I already know that we want to home-school her... at least for a while. Just as I chose to attend public school at age eight, we'd be open to allowing Harmony more choices in her educational experience as she matures. I began taking classes with other home-schooled children when I was eleven, such as science (I loved the lab experiments), American history, essay writing, YMCA sports classes, worldview critique, etc. There are certainly opportunities like these for Harmony to consider when she gets older.

When Harmony turns five or six, we'll probably look for a local home-school group to join. Having a like-minded community is so wonderful, both for home-schooling parents and their children. I still have fond memories of my own friends from the home-school group I joined after my semester at public school. Our fun days in the park, the field trips together, study groups, holiday parties, "secret pal" gift exchanges, camping trips, and many, many play dates at each other's houses gave us PLENTY of opportunity for socialization, with all different ages. Anyone who says that home-schooled children are "missing out on socialization" isn't taking the vast majority of home-schoolers into consideration, and that's all I'll say about that subject!

While I want to make sure Harmony has every opportunity and resource to study academic subjects, there's no need to push her to begin at the designated age of six when children are ordered to begin their "formal" education in kindergarten. I'm not in a hurry for Harmony to learn how to read or write or do math. If she wants to read at age four like Chris and I did, that's great! If she doesn't quite understand long division and basic algebra until she is thirteen or fourteen (like me), then we'll gently help her along until she is able to tackle them. Children deserve parents and teachers who support their specific learning needs, giving them time to delve into academics at their own pace. Childhood is short enough without adults forcing young people into formal education too soon.

I don't exactly fall into the unschooler's camp, but I definitely see myself being more of a relaxed home-schooling parent. Academic prowess is less important to me than enabling Harmony to seek wisdom, grow in character, possess practical skills, explore her dreams, practice justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with God. 

There's waaaaaaaaay more I'd like to say about this, but Harmony is waking up now! Baby time!

*This article is re-posted at my main blog about education, Life Is the Teacher.

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Confessions of This Young Mother

Singing Harmony to sleep with the same tune, same words, same blessing, sung by my mother when I was little makes my heart melt with contented joy. "May the Lord, mighty Lord, bless and keep you forever..."

It seems like I never knew what joy really was until she was born.

Thinking that there might be something wrong with my daughter, when she wheezes in her sleep because the air is too dry in our apartment, or she screams inconsolably at midnight (colic? gas? what am I doing wrong?), sends rivers of fear through my mind. It takes effort to calm myself down enough to quietly tend to her needs, even when I'm not sure what they are. 

I can handle fear for myself. Fear for my vulnerable, beautiful daughter is an entirely different matter. There's no way I can handle that on my own. I guess that's a good thing, because it means that I have to always lay my fearful heart before God. I constantly quote Bible verses to myself that bring clarity into my scattered soul. 

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid."

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called the children of God, and that is what we are."

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Sometimes Harmony just wants to be held by mama. Nobody else will do. And even though I'm a very touchy-feely sort of person, getting used to being wanted almost 24/7 by this tiny being is more difficult than I had expected. 

Not going to lie... breast-feeding was HARD for the first three weeks. Actually, it was awful for the first week. Not going to go into details, but let's just say that I still send up a silent prayer of thanks every time she feeds now because I know I won't have to grit my teeth in agony or cry whenever she latches on.

Since she doesn't like slings (not yet, at least), and can't hold her head up steadily on her own, it takes both my hands to carry her with me. I keep having to remind myself that cuddling with the adorableness looking up from my arms is enough, for this newborn stage will soon be over, and I will miss it.

Chris is a lifesaver. He goes to work at a stressful grocery store then comes home and takes Harmony to give my arms a break, or prepares food for us, or washes dishes (the endless amount of dishes, ugh), or does laundry. It's tough for me to not feel useless, but I know that caring for our little girl and continuing to recover from being ill are the best, most important things right now.

The one thing, the ONE THING that has proven to ALWAYS calm her down when she is upset, is taking her outside. The instant I step out the back door and face the forest in our backyard, Harmony becomes quiet. She is alert, staring at the sky, the trees, the building, the birds. Then she usually falls asleep. I wonder what my neighbors think when I take an infant out in the heat of the day (I do stay in the shade), or pace the grounds at night, or rock my daughter while sitting in the grass at five thirty in the morning. My little nature girl.

When she sleeps, which is not as often as I wish she would, she sleeps with her arms flung out wide, as if preparing to embrace life as hugely as possible. Look out, world!

Every day Harmony is a bit bigger, a bit stronger, a bit more coordinated. At her one month mark, the tiny baby I so vividly remember giving birth to is already growing into a more aware, independent person, in spite of her helplessness and continued neediness of mama's arms. 

I have to keep reminding myself that it only gets more incredible from here on out... from an infant, Harmony will become a toddler, then grow into a child. Someday she will need me to let her go. Is it sad that I'm already trying to prepare myself for that? 

Even in the middle of the night feedings, when I'm struggling to keep my eyes open and hope that I'll be awake enough to burp her when she finishes eating, she is so worth it.

She is SO worth it.

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Harmony: the First Three Weeks

After having you, my constant tiny friend, with me always 

for nine months, traveling 

along/inside as I sang, cooked, slept, wondered,

I thought I would feel strangely empty

now that you have taken this first step

towards independence.

Yet the expected sensation of loneliness will never come,

I realized with relief,

because there is too much love

filling my heart for you,

too much of your personality to discover,

every day a new adventure 

as you teach us Who You Are.

You held your head up

on your own strength the very first hour after birth;

now your neck grows stronger all the time.

You try to coordinate those arms and legs,

rolling over onto your side,

and we already worry about baby-proofing the apartment.

Patience is one of your virtues;

you wait calmly to be fed,

rarely crying 

even as we fumble to figure out the language

of your needs.

Bath time has been lovely so far.

You coo happily when we gently pour warm water

over your tummy.

Polka dots are a fascination.

So are patterns of flowers, stripes, and stars.

You will stare and stare 

at the world around, all curious eyes

and exploring mind.

What makes you laugh and smile

while you dream?

We can't wait to see that grin someday

when you are awake.

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