Constellations

Speaking of secret messages yesterday? Here's what I read in a book of poetry this afternoon, as I was contemplating what it means to love the wideness and fullness and deepness of God. It feels sometimes like he is stretching the constellations of His love farther than we can see. What a dangerous, daring, baring, beautiful love he has for us.

Lovers 
Don't tell all of their 
Secrets.

They might
Count each other's moles
That reside in the shy
Regions,

Then keep that tally strictly
To themselves.

God and I 
Have signed a contract 
To be even more intimate than 
That!

Though a clause
Mentions

Something about not drawing detailed maps 
To all His beautiful

Laughing
Moles.

~ Counting Moles by Hafiz, from The Gift

~ Prompt for March 14th: Constellation

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Participating in Write Alm's March prompts, daily words as guides for writing down what is in my head and heart. Entries might be long, might be short, might be posted here on the blog, or shared on my Instagram account. Do join me and others in sharing our thoughts with these prompts! I love seeing what you write.

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Secret Messages

Ever since I was very young, in single digits, I have loved codes, messages, secret writing, the like. My friends and I used to write each other notes and full-length letters in scripts only we could interpret. Even in high school I had a group of friends who knew how to write in Elvish. We didn't focus on how super nerdy we were, just how cool it was to be able to write Elvish!

It wasn't just about disguising what you were trying to say. It was also about giving each other secret messages of information and kindness and interest that could be seen only by us invited. Symbols of friendship, a hidden meaning in a hand wave or chalk-written message on the sidewalk... we reveled in the feeling of initiation into knowingness.

And then it wasn't just about speaking with each other. It became about finding secret messages in the world around us. An eagle swooped overhead. What was he saying? A stranger bought a drink at the coffee shop for us: a compassion sign. A child gave us a flower. What did the flower mean? A song with powerful lyrics came on the radio; it helped us see a hard situation with new eyes. We read a Bible verse which brought new understanding to a circumstance. Everything had a hidden meaning. We learned that God speaks in many ways through the created world.

Even as an adult I still do believe that everything can have magic and beauty and blessing, in a grace-filled kind of way. But it is not a dark, intense pressure of trying to dig out what something IS, no, not at all. It is an eyes-open, light-filled acceptance of what comes across our path, knowing that at the foundation of all things is Love. Life is viewed from the heart. The messages that come into our lives to see may not always be pleasant or positive, but if our deepest place is one of security in Love, then the messages we find will only allow ourselves to grow more into the person we are meant to be.

When Mandy at Messy Canvas began writing about Secret Messages, I was captured immediately. She was one of the first to bring me back to this childhood way of excitement over finding out what the universe held for me to discover, what God was whispering into my ear. She writes, "a Secret Message is a reminder of sorts for something you innately know at your core. Like a colorful fortune cracked out of a cookie at just the right time." So I am always on the look-out now for those Secret Messages on this road of Becoming. Sometimes they are in the form of written words, sometimes in the voice of a friend, sometimes in the actions of an unknown person, sometimes in a surprise or a nature experience or a gentle soul-whisper.

What have you seen lately?

What has been speaking to you silently?

What has been speaking to you out loud?

What has the Spirit been speaking to your heart?

What have you been speaking to yourself?

In the words of the amazing Mandy, "May you find {a secret message} that airs out your lungs, melts your heart, and bolsters your soul."

All art pictures in this post created by Mandy Steward

Whether you think that you can or think that you can't -  you're right. ~ Henry Ford


The only impossible journey is the one you never begin. ~ Anthony Robbins


We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit. ~ Aristotle


Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Love doesn't always show up the way you think it should - where you think it must, when you think it could. ~ Radical Creative Sanctuary, Instagram


Being creative, for me, is simply about seeing beauty in the mundane. It's about noticing the sky and listening to the heart beat of our home. Being in the kitchen barefoot - yep, barefoot, because I need to feel the ground. There is no right way for it to look. It's just love and care and devotion to seeing the beauty in our every-day lives. ~ Carrie Anne Moss, Annapurna Living


... I don't know what exactly what thought or series of thoughts were gracing my mind at the time, but I can remember the love and contentment present in my heart. I've realized that I no longer seek to understand life, or people; instead I desire to create meaningful relationship with everyone and everything I come into space with; and I choose wisely, who and what I share space with. It's beautiful... I think the energy of my life is shifting from that of a seeker to one of radical embrace. I recall the snow was falling softly yesterday, and I just remember thinking - this is magic - as I watched it float effortlessly toward the ground. Bless the tiny details and mystical moments in time we are able to hold on to and share. ~ Soulinspired, Lindsay on Instagram

~ Prompt for March 14th: Secret message

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Participating in Write Alm's March prompts, daily words as guides for writing down what is in my head and heart. Entries might be long, might be short, might be posted here on the blog, or shared on my Instagram account. Do join me and others in sharing our thoughts with these prompts! I love seeing what you write. 

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The Greatest Mystery

When you're a child, you usually believe most of what you're told, especially when it's told to you by an adult in authority. So for the first sixteen years of my life, I didn't question what I was taught about God. My family attended church from the time I was about four years old or so. The churches we were part of over the course of my younger years had various denominations, but the majority of them taught roughly the same doctrines. I grew up sitting in Sunday school classes and taking notes during sermons. I was never under the impression that you had to be perfect to be part of a church, or that anyone who went to church was perfect, but it was clear that there were some pretty high standards for anyone who wanted to call themselves a Christian.

All that I learned in this time made me think that I had a pretty good grasp on who and what God was. I didn't have a lot of questions. I was satisfied that I had a good relationship with God. I prayed often, on my own because I liked talking with God, and I read my Bible so that I could understand His character better. It was a comfort zone. I was happy.

It wasn't until I went to college at sixteen that I began to think that maybe God couldn't be wrapped up in such a tidy box. Part of it was that I began to hear questions from my college friends about religion. Part of it was that I began to tackle issues that I hadn't thought of yet in my short time on earth. And part of it was that after I moved to a large city (from Idaho to St. Louis) I was exposed to much more diversity in Christian beliefs and in religions. I met people who called themselves Christians, and even though they were lovely people, they didn't dress or behave like any other Christians I'd met. Some of them *gasp* had tattoos! Or dreadlocks! It changed my perspective both on who God could be perceived to be and my perspective on who were His followers.

Also, when I was seventeen, several other events occurred: my parents separated and got divorced, our current church fell apart underneath us (not the first time this had happened), several good friends betrayed our family, and I was very sick after having what was supposed to be minor surgery. Long story short... all these terrible things did not shake my faith in God, but they definitely shook my faith in the institutional church and people. I began to do more thinking on my own, not relying so blindly on what I was taught, but reading the Bible on my own with more intensity, listening with open ears to others even if what they said contradicted what I believed, and listening to what the Spirit was telling my heart.

Slowly I began to realize that God was bigger than my own personal beliefs.

I still believed that God's Word was the Bible and that Christ is the way to salvation, but there were a lot of other ideas that were actually compelling on both sides of the arguement, instead of being set-in-stone doctrines. I stopped thinking I had all the answers, or even that I could find all the answers. It was a humbling yet beautiful realization that God was bigger than my human mind could grasp! In way, it is comforting to know that the Maker of Life cannot be completely understood. He is God... I am not.

Now I am learning to sit with the Mystery that God is. Every year I learn and grow and change in my relationship with him, but I will never stop wondering. There will never be an end to discovering who He is. There will never be an end to discovering what His amazing creation, our universe, contains. He will continue to speak through His Spirit to our souls. He will continue to reveal truth through His Word. And yes, God continues to work through people in our lives and through the church, both as the individual people of God and the institution, despite their flaws. That's the beauty of the Gospel, that God loves broken folks, and we can love others because of His love for us.

In the end, what does God require of us, even if we have questions or confusion?

In the words of Micah 6:8, "to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with your God".

{Linking up with Shelly's "Write or Die Wednesdays"}

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Differing Thoughts on Educating Children

In my recent studies, I've come across these quotes. You can probably tell which ideas I agree with and which one I don't.



"Why should we have to try to develop such [actively inquisitive] minds, when children are born with them? Somewhere along the line, adults must fail somehow to sustain the infant's curiosity at its original depth. School itself, perhaps, dulls the mind- by the dead weight of rote learning, much of which may be necessary. The failure is probably even more the parents' fault. We so often tell a child there is no answer, even when one is available, or demand that he ask no more questions. We thinly conceal our irritation when baffled by the apparently unanswerable query. All this discourages the child. He may get the impression that it is impolite to be too inquisitive. Human inquisitiveness is never killed; but it is soon debased to the sort of questions asked by most college students, who, like the adults they soon to become, ask only for information."

~ Mortimer J. Adler & Charles Van Doren, How to Read a Book, Chapter 18: How to Read Philosophy



"We shall not try to make these people or any of their children into philosophers or men of learning or men of science. We have not to raise up from among them authors, educators, poets or men of letters. We shall not search for embryo great artists, painters, musicians, nor lawyers, doctors, preachers, politicians, statesmen, of whom we have ample supply. The task we set before ourselves is simple... We will organize children... and teach them to do in a perfect way the things their fathers and mothers are doing in an imperfect way."

~ Excerpt from a 1906 document from Rockefellar's General Education Board, called Occasional Letter Number One



"Studies serve for delight, for ornament, and for ability. Their chief use for delight is in privateness and retiring; for ornament, is in discourse; and for ability, is in the judgement and disposition of business. For expert men can execute, and perhaps judge of particulars, one by one; but the general counsels, and the plots and marshalling of affairs, come best from those that are learned. To spend too much time in studies is sloth; to use them too much for ornament is affectation; to make judgement wholly by their rules is the humour of a scholar.... for natural abilities are like natural plants, that need proyning (pruning) by study..."

~ Francis Bacon, Essay L: Of Studies



"To a very great degree, school is a place where children learn to be stupid. A dismal thought, but hard to escape. Infants are not stupid. Children of one, two, or even three throw the whole of themselves into everything they do. They embrace life, and devour it, it is why they learn so fast, and are such good company. Listlessness, boredom, apathy- these all come later. Children come to school curious; within a few years most of that curiosity is dead, or at least silent... The expressions on the children's faces seemed to say, 'You've got us here in school; now make us do whatever it is you want us to do.' Curiosity, questions, speculation- these are for outside school, not inside."

~ John Holt, in his book Why Children Fail

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Happy New Year, 2010!

Every year I write down goals for the New. I do this because I love traditions, look forward to the fresh start, and feel motivated to incorporate change. Some of my ambitions are relatively simple to implement, while others are far more rigorous. I want to look back at this list on December 31st of 2010 and see how things turned out. Maybe I can make bookmarks of these aspirations as a constant visual reminder.

- Read books primarily for increasing understanding, occasionally for information or entertainment. Lately I've had the same occurrence with books as I've had with cutting sugar out of my diet: the less sugar I consume, the sweeter and more satisfying fruit tastes. I don't remember if I've written this before, but I feel like a kid in a candy shop when I go to a bookstore or the library; only, this candy won't give me a stomach ache! I'll post my (growing) book list for 2010 in my next blog if I can get it all typed into my computer soon.

HUNGER FOR FRUITY BOOKS


- Become more responsible with my money. I don't squander it... I'm not a spendthrift. On the contrary, I'm rather a miser! My problem is that I'm terrible with numbers, math, and budgeting. The monthly figuring requisite for any music teacher literally gives me nightmares. It takes me probably twice as long to do all the sums and check and recheck everything as it would a normal person to get everything right. I studied math all through high school, took my SATS, and got A's in almost every other subject, but numbers of any sort have always been a huge struggle. I need discipline, patience, resolve, diligence, and humility to ask for help in my budgeting this year. I want to know exactly how every penny is being spent, and not become confused in the middle of the month when I find that my grocery budget has fifty more (or, even worse, fifty less) dollars extra in it, and then I wonder if I forgot to pay my phone bill or accidentally took grocery money from some other expense category. Even if all I did was ask Mozart-Man to assist me in my monthly planning and bill-paying (which he has offered to do before, but I was too prideful to accept), that would make a big difference!

BALANCE THE GREEN STUFF


- Strive to notice the beautiful in everything. On the bus ride back to St. Louis this week from Kansas City, I pretended for a while that I couldn't read and had never seen advanced technology before... and then tried to make sense of all the things I saw. You try figuring out what a car wash and vacuum center is with that mindset! Then, as we were driving through Columbia, I examined the surroundings to observe what artistic beauty, good architectural taste, and preservation of natural environment was evident in and around the various buildings. I was surprised with how much and how little I saw. It was definitely a thought-provoking, interesting experience. After reading two books called "Winter World" and "Summer World", my eyes have also been more open to creation and the seasons. Hence why I love my new eco-planner I wrote about in my Christmas post ; )

LOOK FROM THE COLOR SIDE


- Grow in my relationship with Mozart-Man. We've been formally dating for about four years now. I know that at some (very near) point in the future he is going to propose, which I'm extremely excited about : ) I always want to continue to develop a closer relationship with him no matter what stage of our lives we are in; at this time next year, there's a good likelihood that we'll be married, but there is still a lifetime's worth of getting to know him waiting for me! I want to become more graceful, kind, and unselfish in our interactions. I'm so excited to create a life with him. We strive to be complementary to each other's strengths, supportive of each other's accomplishments, and sympathetic of each other's weaknesses. It's a continuous work of grace. His growth as a young man has been so incredible to watch in the period that I've known him. He is one of the most forgiving, gentle, iron-willed, truth-seeking people I've ever met. Yes, he has his faults, but I will strive to be merciful and gracious towards him, as mercy has been so often extended to me when I did not deserve it.

LOVE MOZART-MAN MORE


- Explore the role of becoming a CAHSA artist. I made up this position after reading a book my mom gave Emily to read this semester, called "Art for God's Sake" by Philip Ryken. It outlines four principles which an artist (any artist, performing, visual, creative, etc.) can use to orient themselves and their artistic talents on Christ.

1) Calling: Your creative gift is a blessing from God; likewise, your calling to become an artist (or any other vocation) is also from God. The occupation of a music teacher or a photographer can be just as God-honoring as that of a pastor. It depends on your mindset. I'll describe this in more detail in point four.

2) All: God takes delight in all venues of art. Of course, anything that is contrary to the Word, such as pornography or racist propaganda, is not something good, so there is a line that is drawn. However, one art is not "better" or "more spiritual" than another. A painting of the city of Los Angeles can speak as much about God or His attributes as a song with lyrics about Jesus. Art does not have to scream "Christian!" in order to point to God; one's worldview comes out in the art one creates no matter what belief system is held.

3) High Standards: Imagine that your art, whether it was a music composition, a painting, a film, a short story, a wooden chair, was going up for assessment in front of a panel of the most prestigious, brilliant artists in your field. Naturally you would want anything you submitted to be the very best! Translate that to us frail beings offering up our tiny artistry to the Creator of the universe. Would you want it to be kitschy, mediocre, or false? Now, I don't believe that God is out there scoffing at our trifling attempts to imitate Him, or judging our art to be pathetic or not good enough; rather, His amazing works of splendor, complexity, and design even on the most microscopic scale should inspire us to create "in His image". Art is condoned and encouraged in many places in the Bible, with music, embroidery, metal-working, dance, singing, carpentry, poetry, abstract art, representational/allegorical art, and other avenues of creative expression portrayed as obviously important to God's people.

4) All Art is for God's glory: Everything we do should be for the glory of the one who is the ultimate Artist. This mindset does not allow for some areas of life to be considered "spiritual" and some areas to be "secular". God created man... man is redeemed through Christ, not just part of man, but the whole man. I read a quote the other day that "The Christian is the one whose imagination should fly beyond the stars." The intellect, the curiosity, the inventiveness, the soul and center of man can be freed to truly explore and create once the redemptive power of Christ over every aspect of living is confessed. Truth is graspable. Truth can and should be conveyed in every artistic endeavor.

This is not to say that there is not ugliness in the world. As the book I mentioned pointed out, the Christian is not called to simply cover up the unpleasant. Rainbows and kittens and happiness are not what the world is all about. Sometimes there is a call to deliberately drag the frightful injustices of this earth into view... even a necessity. But the difference in the Christian is that we cannot stop there, at debasement. The world has not fallen without hope. Christ was born, Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ is coming again! There is the promise of life in the midst of death. These epic themes of Creation, Fall, and Redemption speak to artists of all cultures, ethnic heritages, ages, capabilities, and styles.

I am saying these things for my own sake. I see the vast sinfulness in my life. I see my need for a Savior. But I also see that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, as all are, and given specific abilities to be used compassionately or selfishly. This is a call to dedicate everything in life, especially my love of music and teaching, to God.

TO GOD BE THE GLORY

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