Sunday, July 13, 2014

Published 8:47 AM by with 2 comments

Illusion. Or, How the Internet Makes Everything Look Better.

This is what my stove top looks like right now. Right at this very minute. 

Yes, that pot was used to cook spaghetti last night for dinner. I was the only one here because Chris was at work, Harmony was at grandma's house, and my sister was out of town, but I was still hungry after running ten errands (I counted, there were ten), so I cooked and ate spaghetti then rushed out immediately afterwards because I had a gig to play guitar at across town.

This is my floor. Those are dead roly-poly bugs. And a (hopefully) dead spider. Thankfully the cream color of the tiles masks the rest of the dirt. My kitchen floor is gross. I promise, though, that as soon as I finish writing this, I'm going to get the broom and sweep everything, because the levels of grossness can only go so far. That spider is right where my toes go when I stand at the counter!

Sometimes our lives can look quite pretty, online where you get to pick and choose what people see. 

Like this beautiful rose. I had a hard week, due to lots of craziness with my job as a guitar teacher, and by Thursday night I was ready to scream. But fortunately I have a loving husband who gave me a rose and a drink of ginger ale and whiskey, then sat me down to watch Doctor Who with him all snuggled on the couch, so I did not scream. That rose is gorgeous. So is my husband ; D

This is what you normally wouldn't see.

Yep, those are unwashed dishes. They kind of spill over onto the tiny counter and crowd away the clean dishes up there in the corner. At least I can look at my rose while washing them!

There are only two piles of un-unpacked boxes in our house now, finally! So we're almost officially settled in completely. 

But just because we're settled in doesn't mean that I'm completely organized. Here is where I've put all my bills and paperwork and stuff that I CANNOT LOSE OR ELSE THE WORLD WILL END but I haven't had the bravery to sit down and fix it all yet. Their time is coming. Probably tomorrow night. Because tonight I have to play another guitar gig, and drag all the stuff you see below to where I'm going to perform.

Hooray for making money as a guitarist!

So anyway, if you think that my life is a bed of roses (ha ha, at least I have one rose!), it really isn't : ) 

I realized something very important this summer. At this point in life, three big things take up my time and energy: being a house-keeper, being a mother, and being a musician/teacher. 

I definitely fill other roles, like being a wife (obviously! but Chris doesn't zap my energy, he renews it, and we often work side by side, so he is awesome), being a friend, being a daughter, being a sister, being a writer, etc. Yet these can fit themselves in at different points during the week. Except for Chris; he's an all the time thing, but I've already explained that he's different in an awesome way.

It is a relief to honestly admit that on any given day I can fulfill only two of those three major roles. If I am an attentive, patient mother, then I can also be a dedicated house-keeper that gets the laundry done and cooks dinner and makes sure the bathroom is clean, but I am a waaaay less effective teacher because I'm exhausted by the time I head to the studio. Or I can be a good house-keeper and let Harmony watch "My Little Pony" all morning while I take care of stuff, letting her brain rot into mush, and then go be an energetic, (hopefully) inspiring teacher for my music students. You see how it goes. Something's gotta give. 

And most of the time it's the house. 

Sorry, house. 

I love my daughter and music more. 


Don't worry. My house does not look like an episode of "Hoarders", nor is my family subjected to freezer pizzas for days at a time, nor are we wading knee-deep in dirty socks. Come over unannounced and you can see for yourself. But I may ask you to wash the dishes while you're here. 

Weaving words along with everyone else inspired by Write Alm's July Prompt-a-Day.


thepainter said...

Ok, no joke, I went through this 10 minute depression period last week. I stated, I wish I had a talent, you know like Alyssa. She has it all together. I wish I would have learned piano or guitar. Blah blah.

I realized God has given me specific gifts, just not sure what they are yet. I love that you posted this, I feel like you meant this for me.

Lyssa said...

Oh my... I definitely do NOT have my life together!

Everyone has gifts. You are a lovely person (I'm pretty sure I know who this is), and your sweet personality draws people to you. Wish you were still living nearby!