Mondays Are All About Gentleness

This month has looked a lot like exhaling to release how I believed my time was supposed to go.

Out of all thirty-one days of March, I was healthy for maybe seven of them. The rest of the time I was battling a stomach virus, a cold, a severe chest cough, strep throat, bronchitis, and the full-blown stomach flu.

My time was often spent lying on the couch or in bed, even in between going to meetings that I thought were essential or cooking food for my beloved family so they could stay/get healthy or going to teach music or trying to play with/teach my rambunctious toddler.

But last week, when we were gearing up for what was supposed to be an exciting visit from an ensemble of young musicians from Germany, where we were supposed to be a host family, my body failed me. I spent days flat on my back exhausted and too sick to move. It was a sad moment to realize that all our plans were going out the window.

And you know what?

Another host family was found.

Food was still prepared.

My house didn't explode in flames because laundry sat in baskets for way too long.

Meetings were held without me.

Concerts were given without me.

Children were taught their music by substitute teachers.

And everything was fine.

Without me.

So now, for the first time on my feet in five days, I can truly say that I am blessed with both time to recover and gorgeous people who keep everything spinning when I am out of commission. It all does NOT revolve around me.

It's a relief, in a strange way, to know for sure that I am expendable. That the world won't fall apart if I can't make all my commitments happen because I have fallen apart. Which of course has always been true... but sometimes it takes hard situations to know it again.

Since Honor is my One Word this year, it will be good to focus on taking the time to Honor myself by helping my body back to full health. Probiotics, clean eating, resting when I need to instead doing too much, not pushing myself beyond my energy limits, lots of water, going to bed earlier rather than later, getting outside more as the weather warms up, slowing down. It's always getting myself back to the basics. Honoring these essential, beautiful rhythms of life that bring me peace, health, and energy to be who I want to be for those around me.

My guitar and mandolin are still waiting patiently for me to return to them. The to-do list is still long, but when will it not be? Monday is going to be about easing back into the swing of things gently, Honoring renewal.

Time to begin again, again.