Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Published 3:25 PM by with 4 comments

How I Almost Ruined Christmas Eve, and December Projects Day #24

Prompt for day #24: count your blessings

Woke up this morning early with the first glow of grey light, even though I was awake every hour with a little girlie whose last major tooth is coming through. Prying myself away from the cozy bed that I share with my family, I crept into the living room. Wrap myself in a thick blanket, pull on socks, put the kettle on for a first cup of tea, peek outside to check the weather, eat a little strawberry yogurt, and settle down comfortably with my journal and the computer to start the day.

Five minutes later, Harmony walks out of the bedroom.

She's never up this early anymore. I can only imagine that the painful new tooth is what woke her. She's obviously fussy, rubbing her sleepy eyes and reaching for me. Before I can think twice, my natural reaction kicks in: annoyance. I know how the rest of the day will go; she will be whiny and over-tired, making these final Christmas preparations difficult. Muttering under my breath, I grab her a bit too roughly and bring her back into the bedroom, getting under the covers with her in the hope that she will go back to sleep after nursing.

Harmony can all too easily pick up on my emotions. She looks up at me, her tiny face framed in blankets, and her mouth quivers, eyes filling with tears.

In an instant, I am sorrowful.

What a terrible way to start the day. What a terrible thing to make my daughter cry, just because I wanted half an hour to myself before anyone else woke up. My selfishness turns into grief and guilt.

But before I could begin the woe-is-me-I'm-an-awful-mother routine, the Spirit whispered to me: "You are blessed to have your family here, safe and sound and warm together on this Eve before the Savior's birth." 

Oh yes! I am blessed. What else am I thankful for?

For early morning cuddles with my precious girl.

For gifts wrapped, waiting just one more day to be opened and give a little joy.

For the classical music station playing Christmas songs all day long.

For my folks watching our holiday favorite, the Muppet's Christmas Carol, last night.

For my husband and daughter (and everyone else!) who constantly forgive my shortcomings.

For a delicious dinner brought over by my mom.

For my sister washing a huge part of the dirty dishes.

For apple cider flavored tea with local honey.

For my husband who leaves his work aggravations at the door so that he can just enjoy our family time.

For beautiful Christmas cards lining our wall from friends and family all over the United States.

The Savior, sent to earth as a little baby, God become man, Light embodied.

For this moment, where I can rest in the knowledge that I am loved.

Looking back down, I see Harmony's eyes have closed as she cuddles next to me. Her face is peaceful now. A tiny hand rests on my arm.

Thankful for a re-start of the day. 

May I never forget how blessed I truly am.

Caroling with Candles



mountain girl said...

Oh, I completely understand. We are with our kids ALL the time, so it is so easy to forget what a delicate treasure each one is. I have been a little too rough at times too, and they pick it up in a heartbeat. Sounds like you made a quick comeback, and the moment was redeemed!

the habit of being said...

such a great reminder. i often get up very early for those moments of quiet and occasionally my little one follows me. it takes work but i'm trying to remember those quiet moments alone with her are as valuable to her as the quiet time is to me ;-)

momto5 said...

this post brought tears to my eyes. so often, i too, forget what a blessing my kids are. how lucky i am to have such a wonderful bunch of humans in my life. how i can get so caught up in all the "stuff" of life and forget how precious they are and how it is truly such a short time before they just don't wanna cuddle early in the morning or late at night.
thank you for the reminder. <3

Lyssa said...

Thank you for your sweet comments, ladies! I have been humbled so many times to take a step back and figure out what my priorities really need to be : ) They are tiny and cuddly for a very short time!